The Lord has given me a most active, confused, dazzled, and restless spirit...and it's taken me nearly 19 years of my life to come to realize that. To think, my very own spirit, and I didn't really, truly know it until now.
What do I mean by this spirit? This spirit, this conscience, this greater self, this...child, that lies within me. Each and every one of us has this. Some of us, nay most of us, are simply just unaware of the fact that "it" is even there.
Because it's dead.
It has yet to come alive. I think that fully understanding what it means to be 'born again' as a new Follower of Christ starts with the realization of and awakening of our spirit. Because the relationship with this incredible, all-knowing, all-loving, all-powerful God; Jehovah God, put this spirit inside, made it the essence of your being, and your connection with Him.
Think of those Mac vs PC commercials.
Your spirit, once awakened, ends up looking like the PC. Bland. Unoriginal. Naive. Thinking more of itself than it really is. Lying to itself and others to try and make up for it's own iniquities. Woah. Big word there, iniquities. What does that mean? Well, Merriam-Webster defines it as gross injustice and a wicked act or thing. Yep, I'm serious, we're all trying to make up for our gross injustices and wicked things...those "things" being our incomplete and as yet purposeless existence. That's heavy. Well, then we meet this Savior. This God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit. The three parts of one. The Trinity. The Holy Spirit becomes a part of our very own spirit. Enter the Mac. This fly, hip, cool character that has it all together, is perfect, and can answer all the questions of the universe. That doesn't make Mr. PC very comfortable. He feels very out of place. He first tries to ignore the Mac. Then once Mac makes his presence known by placing a very heavy or convicting question in the air, Mr. PC just starts stumbling, psshing, and coming up with inadequate answers; or rather excuses. Mr. PC is uncomfortable, out of place, and down right irritated that someone would or could intrude on 'his' space so entirely.
I've spent the last 15 years of my life stumbling, psshing, and denying the fact that I am inadequate. Being bland, unoriginal, and having plenty of iniquities; the sad thing is that I, like so many others, didn't even realize it. I thought I was living life. Up until recently, I thought I was living the life.
I was wrong.
The only way to fulfill my inadequacies, to 'fill my cup', is through accepting and welcoming the presence of this superior being. This Holy Spirit.
As we come into this world our spirits die more and more each day as we learn more of this world and distance ourselves farther and farther from the Creator, the One who gave us life. Only through realizing how dead we are can we realize how alive Christ is. And that the life, love, joy and hope that comes from Christ is the most beautiful and the most complete form of life that we could ever imagine...and that we cannot have this life without Him. It is a daily challenge, for each and every one of us, to chase this life. But I promise you, nothing, nothing will ever satisfy your soul, your spirit, your true self; unless it is within and alongside the will of Christ.
